Regrets (Part 25th of the series)
by Justright
Summary: A somewhat sequel to heaven can't wait and Love connections with a twist :)
1. Default Chapter

Regrets… **__**

Regrets…

**She woke up with a start. It was not the first time by far that her sleep had been disturbed by nightmares, but this time it had been different. The dream, and it had been a dream, she knew, had been a beautiful one. In it, he was still there, and they had been together for a long time. In it, none of the tragedy she remembered had happened. For a moment, she wished that she could go back to sleep, to that wonderful life that existed only in her imagination… She had almost forgotten what this day was, but then the dream was chased away by the awful memories, even more difficult to tolerate on this sad day. Today marked the twentieth anniversary of her living nightmare. No matter how much she had tried to move on with her life, it had always stayed with her.**

She forced herself to get up and start this dreadful day. She almost regretted taking the day off from the office, as a little distraction might have helped along. However, she reasoned that listening to other people's misery would probably not have done much for her mood. And besides, she had a promise to fulfil. However painful it would be for her, she thought that her son deserved to know the truth. A discreet knock on her door told her that it was time. She took a deep breath, ready to tell him everything, however difficult.

"Mother, are you awake?" He was calling.

"Yes, come in." As soon as she saw him, she forced herself to smile. He looked so much like him; it was uncanny. Every time that she looked at him, particularly in later years, it would bring at once the wonderful memories of her long lost husband, and the regrets that were always present in her soul. She had not been very fair to her son either, and sometimes wondered why he didn't resent her. Not only had he been deprived of his father, but she also had been so crushed by his father's passing, that for years, she had only given her son the bare necessary attention. Yet, he still had seemed to understand and forgive her shortcomings, even though she couldn't forgive herself. Jason saw immediately that she wasn't doing too well in spite of her best efforts.

"It's ok mother, if you don't want to…"

"No it's alright, I have to do this."

She couldn't ad anymore as the pain constricted her throat.

"Twenty years," she thought, "and it still hurts like it was yesterday…"

Jason came to her and took her in his arms, saddened by his mother's sorrow. He felt her resisting at first, the pride still strong in her, then she just relaxed on his chest, as she started sobbing softly. He didn't know everything that happened that terrible year, only that his father had died and that it had changed his mother deeply. More than once he had asked her to explain to him what happened. However, all she would tell him was that one day, he would be ready to hear everything, and that in the meantime, he should believe that his father died for the greater good. He grew up knowing that his father had been a part of their destiny's fulfillment, but never knowing how. He felt her stiffening in his arms, and she pulled away from him, simply going to the door. Without a word, she left, knowing that he would follow her.

Her aunts told him that a long time ago, his mother had been a free spirit, a joyous person, always looking for the positive side of things. They also had told him that it surely was in part what had made his father fall in love with her. Sometimes, he could almost see it. Those occasions were rare, but it happened once in a while, when she forgot for a moment, and just was her old self, or so he thought.

Most of what he knew of his father came from his aunts, as his mother wouldn't or couldn't talk about him. They themselves respected Phoebe's wishes not to tell too much about what happened to him. They had simply told him, just like his mother, that one day he would be ready to hear this. But today, she had promised that she would tell at last. He almost dreaded to hear the big secret. The way they were behaving, it seemed like something so terrible. "What if it was something unforgivable," he told himself? However, no matter how many doubts he still had, he truly wanted to know. So after a moment, he did follow her, finding her sitting at the kitchen table, apparently lost in thoughts with her hands around a mug of hot coffee. 

He sat in silence, ready to wait for as long as necessary. She finally acknowledged his presence:

"Well, I might as well begin…"

He didn't dare interrupt.

"It really began about 21 years ago… You and me were prisoners of the Source, and I was very scared. I knew that your father would try to save us, but in the circumstances, I was afraid that it would make things worse, and unfortunately, it did…"

The guards held on to him, and he saw that none of Paul's arguments were working. The Source had all the cards and he knew it. Then he noticed that Prue was going to try something. He could tell by now when she was about to do something rash, and indeed she was. She astral projected behind the Source, presumably to distract him. Cole understood right away that it wouldn't work and the fear and rage caused by his helplessness pushed him to do the very thing that he had sworn never to do again. He let the demon out… Belthazor, as he had immediately transformed to:

"You want me. You got me. Let them go," he clamored, startling Paul and Prue's astral form, who stepped away, her presence still unknown to the Source. She was so surprised that she returned to her body immediately. Then, her and Paul watched in dismay as Belthazor moved slowly toward the Source, never looking back at them:

"For some reason, you want me, then you will have me, but you have to release them, or I will disappear for good this time…"

The Source looked at him curiously, then he motioned to Lucifer, and this one opened the cell door, getting Phoebe and the baby back in the light. At first, it was difficult for her to see, as even the poor lighting of the room had her squinting. But then, she saw Belthazor and she almost screamed:

"NO!"

He turned to her, and she could see the pain in his eyes. It hurt even more. Then, as if he couldn't bear to look at her anymore, he turned back toward the Source, and this one continued:

"You will never leave here."

Belthazor:

"Agreed…"

Phoebe understood right away what had just transpired, even though she didn't know exactly why… All she knew was that this was too terrible to be true:

"You can't do that, you promised me!"

But instead of turning to her, he looked toward Paul:

"Get them out of here, now!"

Paul and Prue went to Phoebe quickly, knowing what her reaction would be. And in fact, they were right, as she tried to get to him. However, Lucifer held on to her until Paul got beside her and without wait, transported them back in their world.

Once home, Phoebe had given the baby to Piper and jumped at Paul for taking her away like that:

"How could you leave him there? We have to do something…"

This one just looked at her with such sadness in his eyes that she had to look away, knowing exactly what he was going to say:

"He made his choice Phoebe. It probably was the wrong one, but it's done. He saved you and us, and that is at least something good to come out of this."

Phoebe:

"How could you say that? When you know that he will be lost if we do nothing…"

Prue tried to reason with her:

"Paul is right Phoebe. Cole made his choice…"

She simply looked at them with deep-seated anger, and stormed out of the room. For weeks and months after that, she continued trying to find a way to save him. She had become obsessed to the point where her sisters had had to take care of Jason for her. She had fought by their side, every time that it was needed, but always returned to her quest to save Cole. At some point, she even went to the underworld, convinced that she could make him come back.

When she found him however, her hopes were soon quashed. He had changed so deeply that she barely recognized the man that she had loved. Of his humanity, almost nothing had been left. It was only the love, still alive in him, that prevented him from killing her. 

"You should not have come here Phoebe. I'm not going back and there is nothing to discuss…"

"You cannot mean that," she had replied with tears in her eyes. "You cannot want to stay here."

He sighed almost angrily:

"There is no place for me with you. I finally understood that. And I want you to believe it now. It was nice while it lasted, but it's all over," he added, not looking at her anymore.

Again she tried, unwilling to give up so easily:

"Think of our son, he needs you as much as I do…"

He turned back toward her, frowning:

"Why would he want a demon for a father. You should probably tell him nothing about me. Just let him think that his father was human and died. That's what I'm telling myself. Now go. Go before it's too late…"

Phoebe:

"What do you mean, too late?"

He never needed to answer this, as she saw his expression changing again; turning to the rage that she knew came not from Cole but from Belthazor. Reluctantly, she moved away from him, and softly spoke the spell that would bring her back. Until the very last moment, she watched him, still hoping that he would change his mind… He didn't.

Only then did she begin to grieve for his loss. 

Jason was overwhelmed by the sadness that he felt in her. However, what she told him until now was no real secret. He knew very well who his father had been, although not that he had given up on being good so easily…

Phoebe looked at her son and recognized the signs of disappointment in his attitude. Right then, she felt that he needed to understand:

"Don't judge him so harshly."

Jason:

"I wasn't…"

Phoebe interrupted softly:

"Yes you were. I understand why you would think that at this point, but there is so much more to this than you think. Before this happened, we were very happy, and convinced that all the misery that we had endured was behind us. Particularly when you brought him back to me…"

Jason couldn't even remember what he had done. His time had not come yet, and Paul had told him that until the day he was ready, he wouldn't remember anything. Sometimes, he wondered about this destiny of his. Even more so when he thought of his father's failure…

But his mother continued:

"When he returned to his demon form, he felt that he had indeed failed me, and you… That is most certainly why he thought that his place wasn't with us anymore."

Her voice trailed, as she seemed about to cry again. Then she took a few deep breaths and prepared to tell the rest of the story.

As she was going to talk again, a knock on the door interrupted her.

They turned to see Prue through the back door. No doubts, she was coming to try and give Phoebe some moral support. This one wasn't too certain that it would help, but was still grateful to her sister for caring.

Prue didn't wait for them to answer and she entered, trying her best to put on a joyous face for them.

"Hey, how are you both today? I just thought that I'd drop by…"

Phoebe almost smiled at her failed attempt at casual, and probably would have, if she hadn't felt so low.

Prue:

"I'm not interrupting, am I?" She asked more seriously.

Phoebe:

"That's ok, I was just telling Jason…"

Prue:

"I know. Are you ok?"

Phoebe:

"I will be, don't worry… So," she said turning back to her son, "where was I?" He didn't really answer that, as he knew that it was only a rhetorical question. The way she told the story, it was obvious that she was reliving it.

Prue took a seat in silence right by her sister, and also waited patiently for her to talk.

"After about ten months, I had mostly accepted that he would never come back to me. We had fought countless demons, sent by the source in the meantime, and I had tried to move on with my life. Without much success, however. Then, he came back…"

In the underworld, Cole had been mostly isolated and only visited on occasions by the Source himself. He was observing his demon, searching for the sign that would announce his complete return to the evil world. That never came however, and in the end, the Source had to admit that this love was by far the most powerful of magic. Still, his many attempts at destroying the charmed ones had failed. He regretted to have let them go, even if he truly needed Cole for his plan to work. He had wanted to annihilate the threat before taking over this world of theirs, but it became obvious to him that he would have to take it in his own hands. What he had wanted was for Belthazor to accept and even greet the chance to help him in this endeavor. Now, he figured that he would simply have to take him by force.

Jason interrupted again:

"What do you mean, take him?"

Phoebe:

"There is something that you don't know about the Source. Something that we didn't know either at the time, because the Elders never thought that they should have told us… For a long time, we had wondered why he had never come to us himself. Then, after what happened, Leo got an answer on this from them. It would seem that up there, many levels of powers exist, and among them one considered the highest power. 

This one could have wiped all evil from this earth at any time, but chose not to because apparently, it maintains a balance of some sort and gives us a challenge that measures our strength. Don't ask me exactly why or how, but that is the way it is. However, once in a while, a higher evil rises. One that threatens the balance of power between good and evil… The higher power is guarding the doors to our world against that very powerful evil. What's more, he is the one who creates people like us, to fight such entities, should he succeed in his plans… The Source however, found a loophole, so to speak, in the rules. All humans are granted access to this world with no exception. 

This, of course, includes a half-demon…

Jason:

"But what good did it do the Source? He wasn't Belthazor…"

Phoebe:

"No, but he had created him partly in his own image, as Cole was about to find out… At this point in time, we heard of terrible murders that were taking place all over the country. The police was baffled as to who could be the culprit as he or they wouldn't leave any trace and enter houses without breaking in. We knew that it had to be a demon, although we had no idea what his motivations were. The descriptions of these murders were more horrible one than the next. People were either burned or torn to shreds. After a little investigating in some cases that had taken place in this city, we confirmed our worst fears, and went in search of the demon in question. Most of his victims were magical beings and it gave us an idea as to how to find him. We had no idea on which demon it could be, and we needed to know this in order to find a vanquishing spell of course. That is when I saw your father again…"

Her voice trailed off, and Prue, knowing that it would be the most difficult part for her, put her hand on her shoulder. Phoebe looked at her quickly, grateful for her understanding, then she continued:

"We had separated in two groups, Prue and me were watching one witch who lived near one of latest murder scenes, while Leo and Piper were using his senses for witches fears, hoping to get to the next one in time. We were convinced that he would strike close to home this time, as his killings had seemed to follow a pattern, bringing him toward us… The witch, Elena, had known of our presence and as soon as he materialized in the apartment, she magically flicked the lights twice. We didn't wait and ran upstairs, to find her held by the throat by a red giant and my heart sunk when I recognized him.

"Cole!" I screamed and it got his attention right away. He dropped her to the ground, where she seemed to lay lifelessly, and he turned to me with more rage than I had ever known him to have. He materialized a knife, and was moving toward me, when he stopped and somehow, seemed to be fighting with himself. After a few seconds, he simply shimmered out without a word. I remember being paralyzed not by fear but by the disappointment in him. I thought that for only an instant, he had been able to read this on my face and showed shame just before disappearing. But at the time, I simply believed that I was imagining it.

After this, all the love I had for him transformed in rage and determination to destroy him. We continued to watch out for his return but for two more months, he didn't show up anywhere that we knew of. The killing spree had stopped abruptly, baffling the police even more. Which is not to say that other demons didn't come. On the contrary, they did, more and more. And this time, they were concentrating on me and sometimes trying to get to you. After a few of those attacks, we kind of figured that the Source had decided that I was more of a threat than Prue and Piper, even though it didn't make sense as I was the weakest witch. It all became clearer on evening, twenty years ago today…

Two months had passed and we were almost convinced that he wouldn't show anymore, and that is when he chose to appear at the manor. We were in the sunroom, Prue, Piper and me when he just materialized, poised for the attack. He had a knife in his hands and was in his demon form. He launched at Piper but she managed to freeze the knife in mid air. Prue tried to tk him, but for some reason he seemed to have grown stronger than her powers even. He barely moved and was about to move toward her, when I decided that I couldn't let that happen. I didn't know what he would do then, but I didn't care. I was so ready to end this…

"Cole, what are you doing?' I asked.

At first, he just looked at me with the same rage, then something in his expression told me that I had gotten through to him somehow and I pursued it.

"You have to stop this, I know that you don't want to do this. Please look at me."

I tried to go to him, but Prue held on to me.

Then he talked:

"I can't stop it Phoebe." He had said this with such sadness in his voice, that for a moment I forgot all the anger.

"Only you can stop it now…"

"How?"

Prue tried to take me away from him. She thought that I couldn't do anything against him and was afraid of what might happen. As soon as she had been in front of him instead of me, the rage took over and he launched at her again, sending her flying through the glass doors. He then threw an energy ball toward Piper so fast, that she didn't have time to freeze it, and almost got killed. It only grazed her fortunately, but it was enough to send her backward and she hit her head on a chair falling unconscious. Then it was only we in the room and it happened again. Just as before, I saw him struggling to stop fighting.

"Phoebe, you have to help me. I can't do it myself, he won't let me."

I had already picked up the athame that I had taken from him a long time before, and kept with me at all times those days. Instead of staying away, he moved toward me, as if inviting me to hit him.

"You have to kill me, Phoebe. Quickly!"

At this point, I was so confused that I didn't know what to do. I was angry with him for hurting my sisters and those other witches. But at the same time, something kept me from killing him. It was the sensation that somehow, he had not been the one doing this. When he saw that I wasn't going to do it, he became nervous.

"Phoebe, you're the only one who can do it. I can barely hold him at bay because of you, but it won't last…"

"I can't," I said. And I truly couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to kill him, not even then. 

"Then, I will not only kill them and you, but I will kill our son too…"

He had shimmered out right then and I knew where he went immediately. I ran upstairs and found him over your crib. He was again holding a knife and this time, he was threatening you.

"Cole you cannot seriously want to kill our son!"

"If I were you, I wouldn't wait to see. You better act now, because it will be all over soon if you don't and he will have won."

He lifted the knife, obviously ready to strike at you, and everything happened very fast after this. I reacted to protect you, much more than anything else and went after him. He sensed me coming and turned toward me. In the instant before the knife entered his chest, I saw something on his face, like there were two of him. Then, what I thought was another Belthazor or at least very close to it, materialized in the room. He screamed in rage, but before he could come after me, a bright flash of light hit him and he blew apart right there in front of me. I was so shaken that it took me a moment to realize that Cole had transformed back to his human half as he was now lying on the floor, bleeding profusely from the wound.

At the time, I thought that his demon half had been destroyed somehow, although I had no idea by whom.

So I turned to him, and he was barely alive when I went to him.

"Phoebe," he said in a weak voice.

"Thank you. He won't hurt you anymore, ever."

"Who?" But instead of answering, he said:

"Don't blame yourself Phoebe, you did the right thing."

By then, I was crying and unable to say a word, so I never got to tell him how much I still loved him, as he died soon after."

She suddenly looked up toward her son:

"If it hadn't been for you, I think that I would have turned the knife against myself that night. I'm so sorry for the way I treated you. I think that for a long time, I blamed you for not bringing him back to me again…Not anymore however, you have to know that, and also that I always loved you, no matter what. And so did your father…"

Jason was too overwhelmed to talk at first. Then he said:

"But he was a monster…"

Phoebe immediately reacted:

"NO! He wasn't the one doing these things, and his good side is the only thing that save us from becoming the victims of the Source. Preventing also the enslavement of this world. You have to believe that. It is the only thing that kept me going through all these years Jason."

Jason still didn't seem convinced:

"What do you expect from me mother? I never resented you for any of this, and I won't start now, but what you just told me…Well, let's just say that I question the rightfulness of what I had done for him. And even if I thought that it was justified, I couldn't save him anymore. You know that."

She was still looking at her son, when she heard her sister calling to her. She turned to Prue, thinking that she was trying to tell her something, but this one was simply looking at her sadly. The voice started again:

"It doesn't have to be like that Phoebe. You can defeat the Source otherwise, and help countless more. Paige and Cole will help you. You only have to forgive yourself for my passing, Phoebe. It wasn't your fault and neither was it Cole's. It was meant to be."

"What are you talking about?" She asked aloud, getting the other two to look at her curiously. "Who is Paige? And you're here…"

Jason:

"Mother?" 

But by then, his voice seemed to be coming from far away.

Cole woke up with a start, realizing that Phoebe was moaning in her sleep. She seemed very agitated and after a moment of hesitation, he shook her awake.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

She opened her eyes and looked at him like he was a ghost.

"You're here!"

Cole smiled comically:

"Hey of course I'm here. Where was I supposed to be?"

She hesitated for a long moment, touching his face and chest just to make sure that it wasn't still a dream. Although at this point, the nightmare had been so vivid that she wasn't sure what was real and what wasn't anymore.

"Phoebe? What is the matter with you."

"It was horrible. I thought that you were dead, that…"

"That what?"

But rather than answering him, she got up quickly and picked up her robe. She then went to Jason's bedroom, to make sure that it was real. Cole soon followed her there.

"Hey, you're scaring me," he said, although in a very soft voice, careful not to wake the baby.

Phoebe finally smiled weakly:

"Oh you have no idea."

She pulled him out of the room and toward theirs, before saying anything else.

And even then, the moment that they were in the room, she jumped in his arms, kissing him.

When she pulled back, he looked at her with even more puzzlement:

"Hey, the way you're acting, one would believe that it's been years, and not just last night." He couldn't help but smile at the thought.

"You have no idea how close to the truth you are."

He pulled her in a sitting position on their bed:

"Ok tell me, now you got my full attention."

As she was telling him about the nightmare, he couldn't help but wonder what it really meant.

"What do you think that was?"

"I don't know, maybe I feel guiltier than I thought about Prue. You know, the fact that we survived and she didn't…"

He took her in his arms:

"You know how sorry I am that I couldn't save her, don't you?"

Phoebe:

"I told you, I do not blame you for that, and neither should you."

Then, she asked hesitantly:

"Do you think that there might be some truth to that nightmare? About the Source and you?"

He grimaced:

"I don't know, this sounds rather farfetched. Although…"

Phoebe:

"What?"

Cole:

"Well, I never really saw what his demon form looked like…He kept this secret. But still, it doesn't matter…"

Phoebe:

"How so?"

"Because it's never going to happen. Believe me, nothing will make me leave you or return to what I was. And I doubt very much that he would find my present form very inviting." He answered with assurance.

"On the other hand," he added very seriously, "that would have ended the threat…"

Phoebe:

"Not at this price. In my dream, Prue told me that we would succeed anyway. One way or another…"

Cole:

"Well, I hope that this part was true. Come to think of it, though. Could your nightmare have anything to do with what happened last night? That might have brought back these bad feelings in you…"

Phoebe:

"I don't know, it's possible…" 

The night before, they had finally left Piper and Paige to get some sleep, after a fashion, but before they could reach Jason's bedroom door and put him in his bed, someone had knocked at the door. Phoebe, curious, and a little worried, had gone back to the top of the stairs to see who that could be.

Piper had been the one first at the door, as she was preparing to leave, and was surprised to find Matthew there. She had not seen the young man since the day Paige orbed him close to the manor, but she recognized him immediately.

"Huh, hello?"

Matthew:

"I'm sorry, I know that it's very late, but I saw the lights still on… And… I wondered if Paige would still be awake?"

This one, curious as well about the late visitor, was just coming toward them, and he turned to her with a smile.

"Paige," he said softly.

Piper turned to her sister curiously.

"That's ok Piper, I'll get it from here."

Piper:

"Alright then. If Leo comes here first, just tell him that I went back home and that I'll be waiting for him…If I don't fall asleep first." She added with a little smile.

Paige:

"I'll make sure. And good night!"

Piper gave another suspicious look toward Matthew:

"So," she asked Paige again, "you will be fine?"

Paige smiled:

"Of course."

Piper left reluctantly. 

Matthew looked at Paige with a little embarrassment.

"I'm really sorry if I'm bothering you…"

Paige:

"No! It's fine, I just didn't expect you at this hour, that's all…"

Matthew:

"It's just that after I left here, I realized that there was something that I wanted to talk to you about…"

Paige:

"And?"

Matthew:

"Would you mind very much if we did this somewhere else?" Then he added rapidly:

"Only if it's ok with you of course."

Paige puzzled a little over this:

"I don't really mind, but why not here?"

Matthew:

"I just wanted us to have a little privacy," he whispered, indicating the stairs.

Paige turned and only now, noticed that her sister had been watching them. Phoebe decided however, that she had seen enough, and turned back toward Jason's bedroom, as Paige was still looking toward her.

"You might be right about that," she answered with a smile.

She wasn't too sure that it was very reasonable to go out with him in the middle of the night, but in the end, Phoebe's stories had convinced her that maybe they truly were destined to meet in this life. And besides, what she had said about him, told of a very decent man.

"Wait a minute, I'll just grab my bag and be with you in a second."

Matthew watched her going with mixed feelings still lingering in his mind. But when she came back, the doubts had once more receded, and they went out together.

Phoebe put the baby in bed and came to join Cole in their room with a puzzled look about her. He noticed immediately and wondered about it:

"What is it?"

Phoebe:

"Oh it's probably nothing. Just that Paige's boyfriend was just here. And there is something else…"

Cole:

"He was here, now? Isn't it a little late for a social call?"

Phoebe:

"Well that is strange, but the other thing is even stranger…"

Cole:

"What other thing?"

Phoebe:

"Well, remember how I told you that I had never seen him except in those dreams of mine?"

Cole:

"Yes…"

Phoebe:

"Well, those visions must have been really good, because the boy from the past looked exactly like Matthew."

Cole:

"I thought you said that you recognized souls, not people…"

Phoebe:

"True… But I had never seen him before…"

Cole:

"You must be right about the visions. They were pretty good. Even if they included one of your old flames," he added teasingly.

Forgetting all about Matthew right then, she started laughing.

"Not that again," she replied in the same teasing tone of voice.

Cole:

"Come here and let me make sure that you won't remember that particular face in the morning," he said, pulling her toward him playfully. He kissed her and she stopped him only an instant to ad breathlessly:

"Clay who?"

He pulled away from her, pretending to be offended, and she laughed some more:

"Alright, alright, I'm never saying that name again," she said then, as she pulled him toward her and they fell on the bed, still laughing.

He didn't lose time, undressing her rapidly, and she did forget all about anyone else…

Nicholas had just about given up on seeing them that night, when he finally spotted the car coming back. A triumphant smile appeared on his lips…


	2. Where have all the 'Lighters gone?

Where have all the 'Lighters gone **__**

Chapter II

Where have all the 'Lighters gone?

"What?" Phoebe asked softly.

He was looking at her with a dreamy expression.

"Oh just thinking, who needs heaven?"

She smiled ruefully as she cuddled closer.

"Really?"

"Hum, right now, definitely…"

She felt so perfectly safe in his arms, that sometimes she managed to forget altogether about the demons, warlocks and whatnot that plagued their lives. She particularly enjoyed this sensation of oneness that came so readily when they made love. Even before she had the dreams about them, she already believed that they had always been destined to be. There was no other explanation for the complete and so perfect understanding that they had.

They hardly needed to talk, as a simple look would tell them more than any word. Or a simple touch for that matter…

He was pulling her closer, holding her face up to him, and kissing her gently at first, then more and more wanting, as his hands left her face to explore her body, slowly, almost agonizingly, she thought. Before long, she was pulling him to her, not wanting to wait a moment longer. 

After they were spent, basking in their lovemaking, he just stayed on her while looking at her with such adoration, she knew that no one had ever loved her as much as he did. She also was certain that she could never love anyone as much as she loved him. 

"How did I ever get so lucky?"

She caressed his face softly:

"I'm the lucky one."

He smiled sweetly:

"Are we going to argue now?"

She giggled:

"I don't think that we will ever find out who's the luckiest, let's agree on a draw," she whispered.

He pulled her to him as he lied back down. 

"Promise that you'll never leave me." She said more seriously, as she rested her head on his chest.

"I could never leave you…" Then, he added playfully, "how could I? I'm under you spell, you enchantress."

She laughed:

"And you better never forget it."

Paige was a little nervous, even though she felt that she was perfectly safe with Matthew. They had just driven all the way to his apartment complex in silence, and maybe that's what bothered her. He didn't seem himself tonight. She suddenly believed that she knew exactly why, and she couldn't help a certain excitement at this.

He turned to her with a hesitant smile, convincing her even more that he had not simply wanted to talk.

"I hope that you don't mind coming here?" He asked, maybe a little anxiously, she thought.

"Of course not." She answered with a bright smile.

For a fleeting moment, she thought that she had seen him frown, but soon he smiled back, and she dismissed it.

He gallantly opened the door for her. He was always so attentive, she thought again. Most of her former boyfriends had been nice enough, but none of them had given her this sensation of belonging. It felt right to be here, and she pushed any apprehension away, as they were walking hand in hand to his apartment complex.

They were almost at the door when a surprising arrival had her gasping…

At the Turners', Phoebe was almost asleep, when she heard the baby crying. She sighed and looked toward Cole, with a little irritation, as he was already asleep. She had thought that the baby would be sleeping the rest of the night, at least what little of it there was left, but obviously it wasn't to be the case. So she got up reluctantly and went to his room. Obviously, he had only needed a little attention, since he went back to sleep almost as soon as she was in the room. On her way back, she noticed that Paige's door was opened, and she remembered what she had said about the laundry. As quietly as she could, for she thought that Paige must be asleep, she went in the room and was surprised not to find Paige there.

She dismissed it quickly however, thinking that her and Matthew must still be downstairs. She went to pick up the basket that she had spotted, and a vision began the moment she touched it…

__

'Paige was in front of an apartment building with two identical men, both looking like her boyfriend Matthew. Only one of them wore dark clothing and smiled cruelly toward the other two. Suddenly he threw a pinch of black powder toward them, and they fell to the ground heavily. The dark clothed man bent toward Paige, and as soon as he touched her, they both disappeared in a cloud of black orbs.'

Phoebe gasped. She turned around quickly, running downstairs in the hope that she had been right about her sister being home, but of her, she found no trace. Then, she started to panic…

Leo and Coleridge had been looking everywhere around town for their whitelighter friend, but for some reason, they couldn't detect him at all.

"How could he have disappeared so completely?"

Coleridge:

"I really don't know, and frankly, I'm beginning to be seriously worried."

Leo:

"I think that at this point, we might need some help…"

Coleridge looked at him curiously:

"From whom?"

Leo:

"Why, Cole of course."

Coleridge:

"Ah well… I have a feeling that my son might just begin to think that us, whitelighters, have a bad tendency to get lost…"

He smiled at his own cleverness, in spite of the seriousness of the situation.

Leo:

"If he tries to say something," he replied with a little side look to his friend, "I'll just have to remind him of a certain ex-boyfriend…"

Before orbing to the house, Coleridge added:

"You know, one of these days, these little games of yours might get you in troubles. I won't get between you two, that's for sure…"

Leo giggled, unconcerned, before orbing out in turn.

Paige looked at both men in total astonishment. They looked exactly the same, and she was immediately reminded of Phoebe's story.

Turning toward the dark clothed man, she asked hesitantly:

"Nicholas?"

This one started at hearing his name.

"How the hell?"

He wasn't the only one surprised:

Matthew:

"What are you doing here? Leave us alone."

Nicholas rapidly got his countenance back:

"I can't do that, not after all the time I've waited for this. I've just hit the jackpot, why shouldn't I take it?"

He had decided to figure out later how she could know of him. At this point, he had worked out that Jacob must have failed in his attempt, since he had not reappeared after all this time. This meant that the other whitelighters were still a threat to him, and stood between him and his goal. He had counted on more time to seduce her, but the circumstances being what they were, he had decided to use more expedient means. "She'll come around soon enough," he thought confidently. "After all, I was always the better man. What would she want with this pale imitation of one," he continued for himself, looking disdainfully toward his still dumbfounded brother. 

Before they could protest anymore, he used the same powder that he had used on him to render them unconscious, and then took what he felt was rightfully his: Paige…"

Coleridge and Leo didn't bother to announce themselves, and orbed in their living room. However, they had not expected the level of activity that they found.

Phoebe had not lost any time. As soon as she had realized the danger her sister was in, she called Piper. This one had been asleep and didn't understand what Phoebe was talking about at first.

"What are you saying? Two Matthew?"

Phoebe:

"I didn't say that they were both Matthew, just that they were identical. Except that one of them is a darklighter…"

That woke Piper right up:

"A Darklighter?"

Phoebe:

"Come on, we have to do something, and soon…"

Piper:

"I'll be there in a moment."

Phoebe hung up and dialed another number right away:

Paul answered sleepily:

"Yes?"

Phoebe:

"You offered to baby-sit at any time, didn't you?"

Paul:

"I suppose that you have some kind of an emergency?"

Phoebe:

"Yes, I think that Paige is in great danger…"

Paul didn't need more:

"I'll be right there."

He appeared beside her in his robe, and she jumped:

"Oh please, give some warning will you?"

Paul grinned:

"I said that I'd be right there…"

She was about to go get Cole, when Leo and Cole's father orbed in as well.

Leo:

"Oh good, I was afraid that we would have to wake you up. Where is Cole, we need to talk to him…"

Phoebe:

"Take your turn. Right now I need him too, and it takes priority…"

Leo:

"What are you talking about?"

Phoebe:

"Paige is in trouble."

Leo was immediately alert:

"What kind of trouble?"

Phoebe, impatiently:

"The darklighter kind… I don't know why, but she was, or is about to be kidnapped by a darklighter…"

Leo tried to find her with his whitelighter senses, but he could find no trace of her.

"Uh, oh…"

Phoebe:

"What?"

Leo:

"I can't feel her, at all… Where was she? Wasn't she here with you, earlier?"

Phoebe sighed:

"I think that she went out with her boyfriend, Matthew…"

Coleridge:

"Matthew?"

Phoebe saw that they needed to hear the whole thing, and besides, Piper was still not there, so she described her vision to them.

A look of understanding dawned on both their faces, and puzzled Phoebe even more:

"What is it?"

Leo:

"I think that I have an idea on what is happening, but I will need more details…Where did you say that they were?"

Phoebe:

"Wait, Paige wrote his address here," she said, picking up the address book, sitting by the phone.

"I can't be sure of course, but it would make sense that he brought her there…"

Coleridge:

"We looked there earlier and he wasn't home…"

Phoebe:

"You know who he is?"

Leo:

"Now yes…"

Without any more explanations, he orbed out, soon followed by Coleridge, leaving Paul and Phoebe in the dark.

"What the?"

She motioned irritably, then shrugged and climbed the stairs at last.

Piper entered the house without knocking at this moment, a look of panic on her face.

Paul:

"Phoebe just went upstairs to get Cole, and your husband was just here…"

Piper:

"He was? Where did he go?"

Paul:

"As far as I know, he went where you are supposed to be going as well… Don't ask me. I am in the dark as to what is really happening here…" He added, when she looked at him in puzzlement. 

Phoebe and Cole came downstairs after only a minute, and he didn't lose time before flashing them to the apartment building.

There, they found Coleridge and Leo bending over Matthew, who was still unconscious.

Phoebe:

"Paige?"

Leo turned to her sadly:

"She was already gone when we arrived, I'm sorry…"

Cole:

"What about him? What's wrong with him?"

Coleridge:

"We have no idea, he simply seems asleep, but he won't wake up…"

Phoebe asked suspiciously:

"How is it that you know him?"

Leo:

"Huh, well… He is a whitelighter…"

Cole:

"Unbelievable…"

Phoebe:

"You mean to say that our little sister was seeing a whitelighter and, what, she didn't know it?"

Leo:

"To be very honest, neither did we. The Elders never told us that he had anything to do with Paige…"

Piper:

"What a surprise!"

Leo gave her a little sheepish look.

"We were as much in the dark as you were… They sent us to find him without giving us this little detail…"

Piper couldn't help it, as lack of sleep and fear rendered her irritable:

"Hey, how does it feel?"

Leo:

"Come on Piper, they must have had a good reason."

Piper:

"As usual…"

She wasn't going to become more reasonable about it.  
"Don't they know by now that it's always better to tell us about this stuff? And really, I don't understand. A few weeks ago, Paige orbed him home and he reacted as if he was scared…"

Leo:

"She what?"

Piper:

"Long story, there is no time for it now. Can you find her?"

Leo shook his head sideways dejectedly.

"Anyone has any idea on what we're supposed to do now?"

Cole:

"I'd start by asking this one…"

He answered, indicating Matthew, who was now moaning.

Coleridge thought that he heard him mention Paige and he came closer, still trying to shake him awake.

Matthew was still moaning, but not waking up:

"Paige, bring me Paige…"

Coleridge:

"What does that mean?"

Leo:

"What did you say that you saw in your vision?"

Phoebe:

"The Darklighter threw something at them and they fell to the ground…"

Coleridge:

"A dark powder?"

Phoebe:

"Yes, that's it…"

Leo:

"No wonder we couldn't find him…"

The two whitelighters were exchanging knowing looks, and Phoebe intervened:

"Hey, you're not doing this to us again. What is going on?"

Coleridge:

"That's a darklighter spell. It kept him from orbing anywhere, and he most probably was talked into bringing Paige here…"

Cole:

"And the darklighter? Why did he look like him?"

But even before they answered, he thought of something:

"No, that can't be…"

Phoebe and Piper seemed to be thinking the same thing, as they turned to him.

Leo:

"I don't know what you are talking about, but he didn't have to make himself look like Matthew. They are twin brothers…"

Piper:

"No matter, now we have to find Paige…That is all we should be thinking about… The rest," she said, looking purposefully toward her husband, " we'll discuss later…"

Leo:

"I don't know how, he must have used the same spell on her. And we cannot feel where they went."

Phoebe:

"Maybe Paul could help, he found you the last time, didn't he?"

Cole:

"And who is going to baby-sit?"

Phoebe:

"You…"

Cole:

"Oh no, you don't. I'm not letting you go by yourself…"

Phoebe made him a face:

"It's my sister, and we can defend ourselves."

He still hesitated.

Phoebe:

"Trust me?" She added.

Cole:

"Promise me that you'll be careful…."

Phoebe smiled:

"Always…"

Cole:

"Now, why doesn't it reassure me?"

Phoebe:

"Ok now, you go…"

He sighed and flashed out.

Paul appeared soon after, more properly attired.

"Your husband wasn't really happy at staying behind."

Phoebe:

"Doesn't matter now, we need your help to find this darklighter…"

Paul:

"Let me give it a try."

He went beside Matthew, as they indicated that it must have been the last place the darklighter stood upon.

For a few minutes he concentrated intensely, but afterward he turned to them with a puzzled expression.

"I can't feel a thing. As a matter of fact, you say that this one is a whitelighter?"

Leo:

"Yes…"

Paul:

"Well, for all I can sense, he could be a log…"

Coleridge:

"It must be the spell."

Paul:

"What spell?"

Leo explained to him.

"Oh well, then it will take a little longer." Then he added to himself:

"That explains it…"

Phoebe, anxiously:

"What?"

Paul:

"Why I couldn't track him the last time either."

Leo:

"I didn't think that it worked on darklighters."

Paul:

"Not in the same manner. Moreover, it's only good to prevent me from tracking his orbing. If he was in the vicinity, you could still feel him."

Piper:

"For all the good that it does to us now…"

Paul:

"Don't worry, it will wear off soon, and now that I know this, I will find him…Eventually."

Phoebe:

"Meanwhile, who knows what he is doing to our sister?"

They all suddenly harbored grim expressions.

Paige woke up in what she thought was Matthew's apartment. She was very confused, as she didn't remember coming in, let alone falling asleep.

She looked around and spotted Matthew, sitting on a chair nearby. As soon as he noticed that she was awake, he smiled.

"Hey sleeping beauty. I thought that you'd never wake up…"

Paige:

"How long have I been asleep."

In reality, she had only been unconscious for a few minutes, but Nicholas felt that a little confusion would help his plan. Only a moment ago, he had observed from a safe distance, as the whitelighters and the witches had already showed up where he had left Matthew.

It had been an impulse to go back. At first, he had simply wanted to toy with Matthew a little more, but a lingering doubt about his own safety had pushed him to use caution. It had been well advised as he almost revealed himself to them. "Damn this Jacob," he thought, "never leave a task to another, or it is sure to fail." He wondered fleetingly what had become of the other darklighter, but now, it really didn't matter. On the other hand, he knew that he had no time to lose if he wanted Paige to come to him willingly. He would have preferred more time to plant the suggestion in her, but he wasn't exactly certain of how efficient his spell was on a witch.

"Well over an hour. You must have been exhausted, because you fell asleep as I was talking to you, earlier."

Paige grew more confused by the moment. She had no memory at all of them talking in here. However, she had no reason to doubt his word, and she figured that indeed, she must have been really tired and simply forgot…

"So," she started, smiling hesitantly, "what were you telling me?"

He got up and came to sit by her on the couch, secretly relieved that she didn't remember what had happened at Matthew's.

"I was telling you how fond of you I have become these last few weeks, and that…"

Paige:

"Yes?"

Nicholas pretended to be uncomfortable, as he knew his brother would be in the circumstances. He hated this, wanting only to take her and be done with it, but he knew that she wouldn't be completely his if she didn't come willingly.

"I…"

Paige saw how embarrassed he looked and it just made her like him even more. "He's so sweet," she thought, as she was waiting patiently for him to continue.

"I don't know how to say this…"

Instead, he bent toward her and started kissing her very softly. 

At first, she simply let him, as she was a little surprised but no less delighted. Then, he moved closer toward her, caressing her shoulders, and slowly moving down her arms. His touch sent a delightful chill down her spine, and she soon responded to his kiss with all the desire that she had kept inside the last few weeks. It didn't take more than this for Nicholas to embolden himself, and his arms encircled her and pulled her to him, as his kisses were becoming harder and more demanding. 

For some reason, however, the more passionate he became, the more hesitation Paige felt. Something was wrong, but she couldn't figure out what it was. When he tried to pull her shirt up, she suddenly moved away from him. She could see the surprise and irritation on his face.

"I'm sorry, it's too early for me I suppose…"

Nicholas:

"I thought that it was what you wanted…" His voice had been harsh, and he quickly changed his tone of voice, smiling sheepishly.

"I'm sorry. I guess that I was caught in the moment. Of course, if you're not ready…"

He had pain to hide the anger that he felt. "Damn you," he thought, "you're not going to play hard to get with me again, are you?"

Even after a hundred and forty years, he had not changed opinion about women. They were made for the taking, fickle little things that never really knew what they wanted. He was so tempted to take right here and now, and to forget about his goal. However, reason stopped him from doing it and instead he continued:

"It's just that I want you so much Paige…"

Paige couldn't understand what got into her. Even at this moment, she still felt the desire for him. She just wanted to be in his arms and forget about everything else. Yet, something was holding her back, a strange intuition.

"You know, maybe I'm just a little nervous. It's been a while…"

Nicholas:

"That's alright, I understand… Maybe you'd care for something to drink?"

Paige:

"Yes! Yes it would be nice. Do you have white wine? Any will do."

Nicholas:

"Let me have a look, I might have what you need." He replied as he was getting up. He turned to her with a gentle smile and Paige berated herself for what she thought were stupid jitters…

"Don't go anywhere…"

Paige smiled back:

"I won't," she replied sweetly.

He only stayed in the tiny kitchen for a moment but when he came back, something even weirder happened.

Paige was just looking up at him and she thought that she saw a different Matthew, as if another image was superimposed over him. It lasted only mere seconds, but she thought that it felt like a memory of some kind. In the past, she would have dismissed this as only a trick of her imagination, but ever since she had known of her special abilities, she had taken to trust her instincts. Still, she didn't say anything, and took the glass that he offered pretending that nothing was the matter…

Piper and Phoebe were walking back and forth in front of the building, their faces contorted by worry. 

Piper:

"Why did I leave her with him, I felt that something was wrong from the moment that I saw him at the door and I left her anyway…"

Phoebe:

"Don't blame yourself. You said it. She insisted that everything was fine… On the other hand, I left her with him and never even asked what was going on. Maybe, if I had come downstairs to meet him…"

Piper:

"You probably would have done the same as me. He really didn't look dangerous, it's just that I had this weird sensation about the whole thing…"

Phoebe:

"We should have been more attentive to what was happening to her…"

Paul tried to intervene after one more attempt at locating the darklighter and Paige:

"You know, I have a feeling that no matter what either one of you would have said, it wouldn't have changed her mind…"

Piper:

"What makes you say that," she asked, somewhat irritated.

Paul lifted a hand, pretending to fend an attack:

"Don't jump on me! It's just that I have had the occasion to observe all of you, and frankly, none of you are easy to deter when you have made a decision."

Phoebe shrugged.

"You don't understand, we already lost one sister…" Then she bit her lips, a guilty look washing over her face.

"I'm so sorry…"

Paul:

"That's alright. I think that I know how you feel…"

Phoebe:

"Of course…It's just that if something happened to her…"

Piper finished for her:

"We would never forgive ourselves…"

Coleridge, who had been listening in discreetly:

"Don't worry, I'm sure that we will find her."

Piper:

"I hope that you're right." She replied, not reassured in the least.

Meanwhile, Leo had gone back at the Manor, intent on finding out if there was a spell to vanquish the Darklighter…

When he got to the attic, the book wasn't there and at first, he slightly panicked. 

Then he remembered that Phoebe borrowed it a few nights before for Paige.

"We are going to have to talk about this soon, this book shouldn't be carried around so carelessly," he thought irritably.

Then he orbed to the Turner's house. Cole was pacing the living room nervously and he jumped at the sound lifting his hand toward him, ready to attack.

"Hey!" Leo said putting both his hands in front of him.

"It's just me, no need for violence…"

Cole:

"You know, one of these days, you won't be so lucky…"

Leo shrugged:

"What could you do to me, I'm already dead…"

Cole smirked:

"I still could give you a bad headache… Hey, what are you doing here anyway?"

Leo:

"Phoebe took the book out of the house. I have to look it up for a vanquishing spell…"

Cole:

"Did you find the darklighter?"

Leo:

"Not yet, but Paul is confident that he will soon…"

Cole:

"The book is in Paige's bedroom…"

Leo was already on his way, when Cole called to him:

"You will watch their back, won't you?"

Leo:

"Don't worry."

Cole, to himself:

"Now, how am I going to do that?"

He had said this in barely more than a whisper, but Leo heard:

"Trust them."

Cole turned toward him:

"What?" He asked with a little frown.

Leo:

"Just trust them, they can defend themselves…"

Cole:

"Yeah, I suppose you're right."

Still, he went on pacing the room, and Leo went to get the book…

Paige tried very hard to look calm for Matthew, but she couldn't help the feeling of unease to deepen for every moment.

"Is there something the matter?" He finally asked, telling her that her efforts at dissimulation had been in vein. 

Paige still tried to minimize this:

"Nothing much, it's just, you know, nerves…"

Matthew/Nicholas:

"You have nothing to worry about, you are safe with me."

Paige wished that she could believe that. What had happened between their moment in the car and now, she wondered warily?

For the life of hers, she couldn't figure out what it was.

Nicholas was getting more impatient for every moment. In truth, he could use the powder again and simply prolong this, but he was worried that they might find him anyway. There was no way that he could bring her down with him until she had given herself freely. He felt trapped. This wasn't the way he had envisioned this at all. 

Suddenly, she got up, as if ready to leave, and he realized that she was forcing his hand. He should have been waiting for her to be ready… He knew that. However, all those years waiting to have her had exacerbated his desire for her. At this point, he understood that it didn't matter so much to him all the glory that she could have brought him. All he wanted was to possess her, no matter what.

Paige:

"I think that I should leave. Maybe we could try again another time, when we know each other better?"

Nicholas got up quickly, not too subtly putting himself between her and the door.

Paige saw right away that it wouldn't be so easy to leave here. From the moment that she had awakened, she had felt that something weird was happening, and now she knew it for a fact.

Nicholas:

"You can't just go like that," he said, and she could almost hear the threat in his words, in spite of the amiable smile.

Paige:

"I really think that I should." She tried to move around him, but he took her arm in a firm grip and she truly started to panic.

"I can't let you go. You don't even know what you want. Let me show you."

Paige thought that this sounded familiar somehow, and she strained to remember where she heard these words before, even as she was trying to extirpate herself from his grasp.

That was to no avail however, as he tightened his hold on her. He suddenly pulled her to him, kissing her hard, and then pushed her rudely back toward the couch.

That is when she remembered who had said those words before… 

"Nicholas," she thought, as her heart sunk…


	3. Where have all the 'Lighters gone? (2)

Regrets **__**

Regrets

Chapter III

(Where have all the 'Lighters gone?)

****

Leo returned to them and shook his head by the negative when Phoebe and Piper turned to him expectantly.

Piper:

"Hum, what exactly are we going to do then?"

Phoebe:

"Let's start by finding them, saving Paige, then we'll worry about taking care of him. For one, I'm ready to kick butt if necessary."

Piper:

"I see that you recuperated quite nicely."

Phoebe:

"Yeah, and that darklighter better beware…"

They turned toward Paul, who was once more concentrating on finding their lost sister.

Paige felt so helpless. Now she understood exactly how her former self had felt. It was a terrible sensation of weakness and disgust toward one's own inability to fight back. She had tried, but he was too strong. What's more, she couldn't seem to orb. Panicking, she had wondered about this, but fighting him off took everything that she had.

Already, he had her pinned down on the couch, and he was looking at her in such a way that she felt like closing her eyes and trying to forget where she was.

When he tried to kiss her, she did the only thing that she could and bit him hard, enough so that he jumped back, screaming in pain. Unfortunately that wasn't enough to make him let go, and instead, he hit her hard across the face. So much so, that her lips started to bleed…

Not only didn't he seem concerned by it, but she got the distinct impression that it aroused him, as he leaned heavily on her, and putting one hand on her throat, he used the other one to fumble with her shirt. He was almost choking her, and she struggled for breath just as he was grabbing her breast rudely. She didn't know what hurt more at this point, but that wasn't the worse. The humiliation and fear that she felt were, and it gave her just enough strength to push him back hard, long enough to extirpate herself from underneath him and try to run for the door. She had almost made it, screaming for help, when he orbed in front of her, catching her by the throat again. The smile on his face scared her more than anything that had happened before…

"Scream as much as you want. No one will come to your help… Did you really think that I would have risked that?"

Around them, a shimmering began, and she realized that what she had believed to be an apartment, was in fact an abandoned old house. Outside the window that was now visible, there were only fields, with not a light anywhere in sight.

Her heart sunk deeper as he tightened his hold on her throat, and the despair that she felt then prevented her from fighting more. Silently, she called to her sisters:

"Please find me, soon…"

As Piper and Phoebe observed him, they thought that something changed.

Paul had suddenly stood straighter, and they came toward him.

Phoebe:

"Paul? Do you feel them?"

He didn't answer, seemingly still concentrating. His face was contorted in a frown, as if what he had felt was too fleeting to hold on to. Then he turned toward them with a nod, and they knew that he had finally succeeded.

Piper:

"Let's go," she said, anxious to finally do something.

Leo took a hold of her, while Coleridge did the same with Phoebe and they signaled to Paul that they were ready.

The thought of her sisters galvanized Paige suddenly. She couldn't let him win so easily, and with a tremendous effort, she forced herself to continue resisting. 

As he was pushing her back toward what she recognized now as a cot barely off the floor, she kicked him as hard as she could, which got him to let go of her throat again. Then, she started for the door, determined to try fleeing no matter that it most probably was hopeless. This time, she managed to go out and she surmised that she must have hurt him more than she had thought, for he didn't try to stop her. Soon however, he orbed a few feet ahead of her and this time, he materialized a bow, pointing it straight at her. At first, she stopped, petrified. However, she had this feeling that he wouldn't kill her. For some reason, she was certain that he was too infatuated with her to do this. At least not yet… She had no doubts that when he was done with her, then her life wouldn't be worth much anymore. The moment that she had worked this out in her mind, she started running the other way. The arrow flew right by her and ended up about ten feet ahead of her. Again she took a different route but never stopped running. She knew that she had just about no chance to escape but the thin hope that her sisters were looking for her kept her going. She didn't know how she knew, but deep inside, she was certain that they were trying to find her…

She looked back quickly to realize that he wasn't coming after her. As a matter of fact she couldn't see him anymore, and when she looked ahead again, she was too late to prevent her fall as she stumbled on a boulder and fell flat across the hard flat rock. Dazed, she still heard the mocking voice:

"Now how is it familiar?"

She tried to get up again, but she had hit her head harder than she thought and dizziness got to her as soon as she attempted to stand up.

Soon, he was putting his filthy hands on her again, and this time, she knew that she was done for…

The group orbed in front of an old abandoned house. Phoebe and Piper moved to go inside but Paul called to them:

"Follow me," he said before running out in the field.

He was the first one to see what was happening but the darklighter seemed to sense his arrival and he orbed behind him, knocking him to the ground. Then he extended his hand, already glowing red, toward him but before he could reach him, he got kicked violently from behind and flew right over Paul's lying form.

He immediately got up, facing his new opponents and saw that one of the witches was after him. Phoebe moved toward him, poised for a fight, while Piper went toward Paige who was still lying down on the flat rock, apparently unconscious.

Phoebe hit him once more, in the chest this time, but the darklighter had time to prepare this time and he took hold of her foot, launching her backward. She fell heavily, a little dazed, unable to react as he was coming at her.

Leo orbed behind him and pulled him away from her and the darklighter would probably have fled without asking for more when Phoebe, her hands in front of herself in defense, had an astounding experience. From her extended hand, a white energy bolt surged toward him. Leo barely had time to get out of the way as he was now pushing the darklighter toward it. This hit him and with a scream of rage, he ignited in a ball of blue flames, soon apparently consumed by them.

Phoebe opened big astounded eyes, looking at her hands totally incredulous.

Leo had a similar reaction, even if he expected that she soon would get some active power. As soon as the surprise wore off though, she got up and went to her sister as well, very worried. "There will be time to think about this later," she told herself, as she was running toward her.

There she found that Piper had managed to revive her, as she had been mostly dazed. She had a big bruise on her cheek and a swollen lip. Dry blood was still at the corner of her mouth and Phoebe gasped at seeing her like this.

"Oh my god, Paige…"

This one was getting up slowly with Piper's help and Coleridge came to heal her.

Then, she remembered what had transpired in the last moment before she lost consciousness and she took a step back, as if she was afraid to get hit again.

"Where is he," she asked anxiously.

Phoebe:

"Don't worry, he's not coming back…"

Piper, who had been too busy helping her sister to realize what was happening in the field, looked curiously toward Phoebe.

"Did he escape?"

Phoebe smiled a little:

"No, I kicked butt…"

Piper, a little puzzled:

"Since when do you vanquish demons with your kicks?"

Phoebe:

"Oh you didn't see? I got me a new power," she said, smiling widly. 

Piper opened big eyes and for a moment they forgot about Paige's problem. But soon they saw that she was staying out of the conversation and turned to her.

"Paige?" Phoebe asked warily.

This one barely looked up, but she said:

"I would like to go home…"

Piper and Phoebe looked at each other, feeling a little sheepish and sad at the same time.

Piper:

"Of course, let's go."

Paige:

"I can't orb…"

Leo came to her sympathetically, but she took another step back…

He thought that he understood and stayed a few paces away:

"I think that now you should be able to."

She didn't lose time trying and soon was orbing home, followed by the others. Paul had stayed a little behind, still not solid on his feet, but he followed them as well.

There, they didn't find Paige but Cole had stopped pacing to greet them…

Phoebe:

"Where is Paige?"

Cole:

"She didn't say anything and went upstairs…What happened?"

Piper and Phoebe were looking up anxiously.

Phoebe:

"She didn't say anything?"

Cole:

"Nothing. Hey you haven't answered me."

Phoebe came to kiss him lightly:

"I'll tell you all about it later ok?"

He seemed to understand that something bothered them and simply nodded in agreement.

The girls went to find Paige…

At first, she almost refused to talk to them, but they insisted and found her already preparing for a shower. She looked so young and lost to them that they worried even more. Phoebe went to her and helped her on the bed, while Piper sat on the other side. 

"You really should talk to us Paige. It's not good to keep it all bottled up inside…"

Paige bit her lips, unsure of what she really wanted.

Phoebe:

"You can tell us anything, you should know that. It wasn't your fault."

Paige seemed to become more animated all of a sudden:

"Yes it was. What got into me to go out with him this late at night, I barely knew him…"

Phoebe:

"Huh, Paige, Matthew didn't do anything to you…"

Paige:

"He wasn't Matthew, I know that now, he was the same Nicholas from your stories…"

Piper:

"Don't you remember?"

Paige:

"What?"

Piper:

"I'm afraid that it is more complicated than this…"

Paige looked at them both in turn, then suddenly, she remembered:

"There were two…"

Phoebe answered softly:

"Yes, just like in the story."

Paige stayed very quiet for a moment longer and Piper tried to get her to talk again:

"Paige, can you tell us what happened?"

Paige again hesitated. She felt so ashamed. However, she believed that they might just be the only people to whom she could say these things, and in a strangled voice, she related to them all that had happened.

She stopped more than once, sobbing softly, and her sister held on to her in sympathy. When she was done, she simply asked them for some time alone.

"If you don't mind, I think that I just want to take a long shower and try to sleep."

They had promised to come any time that she would need them and left her, not quite reassured about her state of mind.

Meanwhile, Leo went to find Matthew, which they had mostly forgotten about in the midst of the excitement. The whitelighter was just waking up when he arrived, and he looked very disoriented. 

"Leo? What am I doing here?" He asked, seeing that he was still lying down on the sidewalk in front of his building. Then he remembered:

"Where is Paige?" He asked in a panicked voice.

Leo:

"She's fine," Leo answered at last, but with a very serious expression.

Then:

"What were you doing?"

Matthew knew that he was referring to his socializing with her.

"Please, not coming from you." Then, he simply added:

"Can I see her?"

Leo:

"I don't think that it would be a good idea right now. I'm afraid that your brother put her through a terrible ordeal."

Matthew lowered his eyes in shame.

"It's all my fault…"

Leo saw his distress and just held his shoulder for a moment.

"I think that we should go to the Elders…"

Matthew just nodded in agreement and let Leo orb him up…

"You're right, that must have been it." Phoebe said still a little shaken by the nightmare and the memories of the night before. "I'm so worried about her. We saved her life, but what about her moral?"

Cole:

"You did the best you could, I'm sure that she will recognize this. For the rest, I'm guessing that time will help. That and the fact that she is not alone…"

Phoebe smiled weakly:

"Well, you're getting good at this stuff."

Cole:

"You're just a good teacher," he answered, as he was pulling her to him.

"Are you going to be ok?"

Phoebe:

"As long as this is not the dream…" She looked up at him, still slightly afraid that he would just vanish as she woke up.

He hugged her tight:

"I'm not going anywhere…"

The Source looked down toward the prostrated form in front of him.

The man in dark clothing started to move slowly.

"Well, it's about time…"

Nicholas didn't understand. For all he knew, he should have been burning right now…"

"Yes," the Source continued, "I suppose that you didn't expect to still be there… Don't get too use to it however. If you do not cooperate…"

Nicholas read the threat clearly. Apparently, he had been spared somehow, but only because he knew something useful, or so it seemed.

The Source again:

"Now, tell me all that you know about the charmed ones…"


End file.
